From the hand of a Sister Thursday Twenty-Fifth,
“There’s a sound of a lake alongside the heavy footfalls you’d figure for an Allosaurus running on water. There’s no sounds of birds. Devastated by a surprise winter before any ancient migration told them thought to flee south. The sun beats down on their bloated, duped bodies dotting the channel.
“—So you can just record whatever you like?”
“Yeah, right now. I’m recording right now.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“…I-I’m sorry? I can turn it off if you like.”
“You said this thing makes pictures, right?”
“I mean, it can. I don’t have that quite figured out just yet
“I mean, I could have it going I just don’t quite get it
You’re a scholar, why can’t you figure it out
“Th-there’s, uh, see there was a schizm in common draconic runes and meanings in the last half of the 9th
-” it’S HARD”
What are you, stupid? You researched this
“I c-could have gotten this but I don’t have any of my reference books right n-”
Prove to them that this is hard or they’ll think you’re an idiot too
“See how the t-how the characters are sometimes straight and sometimes have these spiraling serifs? It’s, uh, it’s -
“Oh god damn it, it’s still recording. Uh, well so we just left the island — The Isle of Carter
- and we now have the Spade of the Earth in hand. I’ve given it over to Rhuul who you can see if I- oh shit the video isn’t on. Right. Well, she’s pulling our boat right now in dinosaur form”
Indistinct Dinosaur Sounds Happen
“She is asking me to state how, uh, quoting Rhuul here; How fucking awesome this is, y’all.”
“I am not repeating that.”
“Because I’m a scribe and this is all already extremely unprofessional.”
The Keepers don’t record histories written hertics and abominations.
“We’re headed back to Induin Tawar after trying to hunt the Night Hag that had attacked us earlier today. We’re hoping we can rush to the World Tree and restore it before the Hag can harm the Queen, long may She reign.
There aren’t any definite paths right now. We don’t have a guarantee that this will work or that we can get it done in time, but we have to try something. At the very least, as soon as we get in town we’re going to check in and see how the Queen is doing. I have all my fingers crossed that she’ll be fine. We’ve really exhausted our other options to protect Her other than resealing the Fae.
This has been Sister Thursday Twenty-Fifth… uh, Day 237. Fourth Week of Eighth Month”
Additional notes that don’t work in fiction:
- We had just walked in on two Oni holding the Queen’s retainers hostage
- Pav was invisible and tailing the Queen
- Rhuul was going out of her way to make the elven soldiers feel uncomfortable
- There was evidence that the Queen had been healed via Greater Restoration ritual.
- Roll loot damnit, NJ! (this should maybe be moved to a separate article when I’m done)
- Scroll of Absorption
- While holding this scroll of blank parchment, you can use your reaction to absorb a spell that is targeting only you and not with an area of effect. The absorbed spell’s effect is canceled, and the spell itself becomes inscribed upon the scroll. The scroll can only hold one spell, and when it is cast the scroll disintegrates.
- Message from Jean-Claude Lion in Altimer
- “Good people of Primo, I hear your words. Be known that the great Jean-Claude and the Bandits will soon be reaching the farthest reaches–" (cuts off here)